langkau fiction

When I went to sleep after a hard night’s beering at Ruai last night, I dreamed of jamming with Santana in front of 50,000 people who came to watch us for free! I couldn’t see where I was on the stage but I knew I had a big part in the jam session. We were playing our his famous instrumental piece the “Samba Pa Ti”. Everyone was cheering for us like madmen, some even frothed in their mouth due to uncontrollable excitement; and in that beautiful dream, I felt so bloody proud…

….until I discovered that I was actually playing a colorful xylophone meant for five-year olds. Cheh…menyampah betul..

Tonight, I request from the dewa of dreams for me to play “Parisienne Walkways” alongside chiseled face Gary Moore. Only this time, he plays the colorful xylophone and I play his ‘58 Les Paul. Can like that kah, ah?

Last week, my aunt called me at about 7am and excitedly said “I caught a snake in Long Bawan (in Kalimantan)!” I asked her what snake was it and she said she didn’t know. I told her to describe it for me — red head, black body…and in my mind, I was already imagining her holding a Bungarus flaviceps (Red Headed Krait). I quickly asked her what’s the size of that thing and she told me it was around 10cm. “Okay, are there any other marks or colorings on the body?” I asked her as if I’m such an expert. Ptui…She told me on the phone that there are thin white strips around its body, and I thought it must be the Variable Reed Snake.

So, she brought it over to me at my office and true enough, it was the Variable Reed Snake. Again, I’m not a herpetologist and I don’t even claim myself to be an amateur. Just a normal snake enthusiast.

Beautiful, eh? According to Indraneil’s snake book, this snake probably mimics the venomous Bungarus flaviceps. The snake full grown size is about 500mm (I don’t know in inches) and lives in the leaf litter. It’s main diet is earthworm and probably slugs. Not too sure, I’ve never seen it having its meal. Like most snakes, you can’t always tell the genus or species from its color as Calamaria lumbricoidea also comes in different colors.

I am liberated! I am joy! I am…I…er…am…er…I…er…I want to drink beers with Daughter of Elysium!!! Woohooo!

p.s. – Okay, so it’s Japanese but who cares…

I’m almost at the frayed ends of sanity.

Work. Is. Not. A. Good. Thing. (not necessarily)

This reminded me of that show, Alf with his stupid proclamation “Haaah! I kill me!” I know some of you regard that…er…thing…er…irritating. But in moments like this, he fits the bill to get me out of here.

“If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire….the A-Team!” (music theme comes in…)

Now, where the hell are you laaaa, A-Team??

I’m at the opis, struggling till I fart a thousand times to finish my work. Still cannot. Tiu maaaa….It’s like being under a shower of shit, y’know, jobshit…and being in the opis alone gives me the goosebumps because of, y’know, the possibility of bumping into a hantu. One of my favorite loonies, Sam Coleridge once said there are more invisible beings (read spirits and hantu) roaming among us.

Need to finish work. Need to finish work. Need to finish work. Need to finish work. Don’t want to see hantu. Don’t want to see hantu. Don’t want to see hantu. Don’t want to see hantu. Need to finish work. Need to finish work. Need to finish work.

Oh, this is just grrreeaaaat! I just had a flash of Linda Blair standing at the crack of my opis door, twisting her head 360 degrees countless time!! Tiu laaaaaa….