langkau fiction

I know you must be wondering if there are previous ‘Pokai Art’ entries scribbled somewhere in this stupid blog. Well, the answer is no. It’s a random subject with a random number. For those of you who are linguistically handicapped, pokai is a concept that refers to “the state of being in an extreme and yet, amusing financial deprivation”. However, pokai does not refer to “the state of poverty” because pokai-ness usually applies to the working class individuals i.e. whose monthly earning is above the national poverty line.

Let me examplize you: borrowing RM50 from a friend who’s a farmer that don’t earn stable monthly income is one of those reliable indicators of a person being in a state of pokai. Having no more than RM32.60 in one’s possession at any time can be considered the pokai, depending on the geographical context where the spending power has to (not can) be applied. The state of resorting to frying salted fish and a bowl of rice at home when there’s nothing else in the fridge except for beers is regarded as pokai. Or when the dog’s meal has more nutritional value than one’s own meal, that is definitely pokai. Yes, plus that person is also a bachelor and sings a non-Billboard 100 song like ‘Bujangan’ as his/her rallying call against global capitalism and labor exploitation, now that is a patriot pokai.

However, a person in the state of pokai-ness does not emit negative vibration to people around them. The pokai individual neither moan of, sulk in nor complain about their “state of being in an extreme and yet, amusing financial deprivation”. In fact, the pokai individual would laugh hysterically albeit with much mental effort at the unfair dealings of this financial world. And if Adam Smith was still alive, every pokai individual would be happy to rip off his disfigured capitalist balls and throw it into the..er..belly of a cow! Cows have four bellies, I was told. So, there must be lots of gas stored in there. No?

Anyway, today is payday, which explains this post. What is more important is that it’s not only my payday but also a day where I’ve to pay the Evil Duo of Four Wheels and Abode, the great institutions that provide me Electricity, Water, Vision and Communication, the Notorious Plastic Trio of Master, Visa and Lord Platypus Knows What Else, and…things like that. All these could easily elevate a person’s status to the state of being pokai.

I is love the world lah…tiu…

p/s: Incurring a monthly RM200+ beer tab at a favorite bar in the absence of cash at hand (or in the bank account) can’t be described as pokai. That’s a privilege.

I came across this newspaper article and I wonder if our deputy prime minister must be joking. Is he threatening the Malaysian citizen? He’s basically saying that if we – the people – still do not appreciate the government’s noble initiative in reducing the diesel and petrol prices, 8 cents and 22 cents respectively, then his government is thinking of stopping the fuel rebates. Now, tell me if that’s not a threat. Please, tell me if that’s not a threat. A childish threat, for that matter! It’s a joke, right? How can a government minister react to “how some people feel” and consequently issue a threat to dispossess what is rightfully ours? This is a typical behavior of a mentally retarded monkey, if you ask me.

Yes, this ex-Milan hero returns to the San Siro to don the red-and-black jersey. And I’m not happy with him coming back. In fact, I am totally pissed off with Milan’s transfer policy for the coming season. Damn Galliani & Co., y’know. It’s just not funny anymore. Have they lost their marbles? First, we got the Barcelona reject, Ronaldinho. And now, Milan decides to rope in a traitor Shevchenko? Has Milan finally tumbled down the ranks when it comes to competing in the transfer market?

Alright, so he scored 170+ goals during his glory days at Milan. Great. Thanks. But he also left Milan for Chelsea in 2006 saying that he wanted to raise his kid “in an environment where he can learn English”. Yeah, right. Also, since his wife is an American and Shevchenko a Ukrainian, they had to speak Italian to each other all the time. Now, what’s so bad about that? Why move to England just to speak English? Get an English tuition teacher, for goodness sake! Mind you, people don’t go to England just to learn English. In fact, the English had to colonize almost half the world to teach English (among other things)! Come on lah…don’t give such excuses. The fact that he earns about £100k per week at Chelsea says it all. It’s all about the money and I, for one, being a Milan fan don’t really have much respect for such players.

When acmilan.com states Andriy Shevchenko’s return as “for the joy and felicity of all the Milan fans”, I think it’s misleading and it certainly does not include my “joy and felicity”…whatever that means. And Shevchenko, better start buckling up! You’ve got a lot to prove!

Forza Milan!

I was in Kota Kinabalu – or KK, for short – the whole of last week for work of some sort. It has to be work because I can’t afford to go there just for a holiday. Okay, I won’t write about work. Let’s say work was like putting my bare head into a hungry lion’s cage. At the end of the day, I headed straight to the bars to gulp some nice Tiger soups, y’know, to heal the wounds from the lion’s bite. I also can’t remember having dinner when I was there but I can vividly recall spending copious amount of ringgit on those cold expensive Tiger draughts at the bars along the Water Front Esplanade. I am now officially in a state of poverty. Oh well…

The only photo I took when I was there

KK is one of my favorite cities and I would take any opportunity, especially with all expenses paid lah, to visit this city squeezed between a hill and the sea. The last time I visited KK was more than a year ago and although it has undergone significant infrastructural changes, it is not the ‘modern’ beauty that attracts me to the city. Actually, I wouldn’t even call KK a “beautiful city” at all. And no, it’s neither that famous fabled mountain nor its nearby scenic islands that attract me to this city. What I love most about KK is its character and the people. Well, I won’t exactly associate KKians with friendliness or use any of those touristic jargons that usually praise the city’s local inhabitants, but I would say that KK has a rich, diverse and yet, complex characteristics, if you know what I mean. There is this feeling of ‘realness’ with the people who sit and chat casually on the kaki lima on the fringe of Tun Fuad Stephens Road; the taxi drivers that linger outside the hotels near the Sinsuran area, talking with thick but incomprehensible local dialect; the loud calling of vendors from the Filipino market across the street; the kids in tattered clothes playing in construction sites near the Segama area after dusk; the conversation with elderly women selling vegetables, candies and cigarettes on the overhead bridge crossing Haji Saman Road; the diverse expressions of local passengers on the mini bus; and also the pleasant salty smell that comes from the sea lah…

For me, there’s nothing more to ask than this experience of ‘realness’.