langkau fiction

Here it comes again! The annual December celebration of “31st” and all the things that go along with it on that day. Someone decided to be smart and made Dec 31st as a time to reflect on the goodies and boos-boos of 2006. It’s also probably this same person who became a trend-setter by coming up with that “resolutions for the new year” list, which millions of us subscribe to till this day.

So, below is a brief highlight of goodies and boo-boos of 2006! (well, at least the ones I can remember…)

2006 Goodies

1. Hiking
Bako and lots of it!
I’ve learned the art of applying for annual leave and spent it solely on jungle hiking, the one thing that I know I’m good at! This year, I’ve been to Bako no less than six times and again, after two years, I did that crazy Telok Limau trail! Looking for a challenging hike? Try this one!

Telok Limau

Trip across Bengoh
Also, there is this trip to Kpg Semban, located on the other side of the Bengoh mountain range. It’s a 5-hour hike up to the village and it’s one hell of a steep hike up! We did the ‘loop’ from Bengoh to Pain (Bojong) and stayed the night in Semban (Teleg). The next morning, it’s a steep descent to Rejoi and then, a relatively flat-ground walk to Sait before ending up in Bengoh in the evening! Then, you wonder how did things — furnitures, gas tanks, washing machines, etc — make it up there? Also, it makes you wonder why a beautiful place like that must be sacrificed for ‘development’ purposes, especially without proper social and environmental evaluation?

Kpg Semban-Teleg

Endau-Rompin National Park, Johor
The main highlight, in the jungle hiking sense, this year would definitely be the Endau-Rompin trip in Johor during the DeepaRaya celebration! I can’t understand what made me go all the way across the South China Sea to do this hike but it’s well worth it. Khoon and I planned to either do the Taman Negara or Tioman hike (yes, there are hiking trails in Tioman!). At the last minute, we decided Endau-Rompin! Three of us (Khoon – self-appointed leader of the pack; Janice – the jungle-hiking virgin; and myself – if I had longer arms I’d be a gibbon) had a good time on this trip! For some reasons, I haven’t pinned it up on my blog entry. It’s a simple case of being lazy, I guess, but I will get to it…er…*ahem*…”soon”. The photos below are all taken by Khoon because I lost my camera the week after this adventure!

Matang adventure…and lost camera!
A week after the Endau-Rompin adventure, I went off to another unexplored (for me, that is) trail in Matang. Just like in the Telok Limau and Bengoh trips, Folker and Christine invited me to do this Matang-Kubah hiking adventure, which I duly accepted of course. Only that we did not walk until Kubah as how a normal hiker would do. Instead, we veered off the main path into the jungle. There were no paths on this ‘trail’ but our direction was determined by Folker’s GPS (at times, he seemed to be obsessed with his GPS that I swear I saw him talking to it!). Oh, ya. The minus point on this trip was when I lost my camera that still had my Endau-Rompin photos in it!

2. People I’ve met
I’ve been traveling all over this state, especially into the rural areas, for many years and I’ve met people from different cultural backgrounds. Oftentimes, this traveling is either strictly research work or strictly for the fun of it. This year, I think I’ve discovered that by ’strictly’ limiting myself to either have restricted my perspective of the world around me and understanding of myself. So, I’ve tried to learn to un-detach myself from everyone around me and instead ‘jumped on the boat’. It’s a whole lot of another experience…

People of Padawan & Balong regions
Initial involvement was through research but once the research crap was over, I’ve discovered there’s something more beyond what I’ve been doing with them. It’s not merely about establishing friendship or things like that with them. Rather, it is more about realizing the common goal towards ’social justice’.

And of course, there is the langkau involved lah…

Padawan

Balong, ulu Baram

3. Kayak
One day, I Google-d “kayak and kuching” just to find something new to do, and I found Francis‘ kayak website! I needed a new outdoor activity apart from my hiking and I thought kayaking would be an alternative experience. And it was great! Whenever I can (and have the cash!), I’d call Francis to see if he could fit me into his schedule. So far, I’ve kayak-ed with him on the Bengoh-Semedang route on Sg. Sarawak Kiri, Krokong-Wind Cave route on Sg. Pedia, sea kayaking the Bako-Telok Tajor route (and back!), and of course, the recent Bayor-Bengoh route on Sg. Abang. Hopefully, I should be able to get my own kayak by next year.
4. New (and cheaper!) watering-hole
Since the closing of Tavern on Jalan Borneo two years ago, I couldn’t find anything that I could consider my ‘2nd Home’ (translates pub, bar or bodega to some of you…). I resorted to Latino but it was temporarily shut down for renovation and change of ownership. In the meantime, I became a patron to Miami instead, three shops upstreet from Latino. It was alright and then, when it also decided to do renovation, I went upstairs.

And I stayed in upstairs Miami for a while until I was introduced to a new watering-hole four months ago! Tropicana. Cheap beers by the river, sea food (if you order lah), not crowded, open air, relatively quiet and good services. The only downside is the colony of mosquitoes. After a couple of Tiger, you’d be immune to its bites!

At the moment, I can only remember these four 2006 Goodies. Actually, there’s also my trip to Mulu, the one place that I’ve always wanted to visit since I was a kid! I was disillusioned by the ‘touristic’ sites but the hunting trip on the Tutoh river was great! Veno had to sideline his tour-guide duties and took me camping on the Tutoh instead. But it was highly enjoyable!

2006 Boo-boos

1. Break-up
This is definitely the single worst thing that happened to me in 2006! I returned from the ulu Baram after two weeks, only to be told that she no longer loved me and decided to breakup. I don’t know what exactly led to this situation and honestly, I’m feeling quite emotionally shaky after this. Even now. “It’ll probably only get better”, as the cliche goes. Easy to say. Try get dumped and see how it feels. Next year, I’ve decided to shelf the relationship project for a while and see where my life will lead from there.

Naturally, no photos to describe this shitty situation. ;-)

2. Work
Disillusioned after 8 years in the same line (and place) of work. I am no longer enjoying my work as I thought I would the first time I joined this circle. For the first several years, I thought the politics of talking cock would not encroach into an institution that produces intellectuals. This year — a culmination of the last three year’s disillusionment — it finally caught up. I will not be able to do anything or go anywhere if the talk cockers (i.e. people who likes to talk cock) rule the day. At the same time, I will not quit this job for the very reason that I’ve believed in what I’ve set out to do in the first place. So, come next year, it will be f*ck all (because I can’t play their games anymore) and ‘just do it’ (i.e. walk the talk, erect the cock!). Metaphorically speaking, of course. ;-)

3. Others
Got kicked out of my beloved football team, put on weight on the pot-belly front, and lack of improvement on the financial aspect.

Those ten seconds tonight…
Well, in a few hours’ time, the whole of Kuching will erupt into fireworks of insanity absolute elation! It’s funny how 10 seconds of anticipation (via countdown) towards the new year can be one of the most defining moments in one’s life. Everyone would laugh for joy, visible tears streaming with happiness, and some probably even pee in excitement — all these within the span of that 10 seconds!

Of course, there are also many others around the world that will not be able to share such joy to get rid of 2006 because they have nothing to look forward to from the beginning seconds of 2007. These people are robbed off their peace because their leaders are obsessed with war and power. Somewhere inside the heart of this land, there are those whose lives are constantly threatened by the government’s policies of ‘developing’ them. They won’t celebrate 2007 either. Also, there are victims of flood and earthquake. I don’t think they have a pub or home to welcome the new year.

To those of you who are celebrating, best wishes for the new year! To those of you who are not, I can only give you my prayers. As for myself, I’m taking my stock of hope with me towards the new year. I won’t be counting down to the second tonight but hopefully, some of you would do me that favor.

TIN KOSONG: Saddam was hanged yesterday morning. The UsTralian leaders praised the execution of Saddam as being “heroic” even though they are staunch critic of the death penalty. Well, who knows what goes in the mind of hypocrites…

Is next Tuesday a public holiday? I was told that the Tuesday public holiday is in lieu of tomorrow’s Hari Raya Haji? If this is so then it’s gonna be a bloody long weekend!

I got out of bed early this morning, made breakfast and tried to finish off my novel. Didn’t manage to finish it with 20-odd pages left to go. I felt restless and suddenly, I thought of just packing my bag, tent and go off to Bako. Or Kubah. Or anywhere else just to get out of Kuching during the long weekend. Not to mention the new year eve hype come tomorrow evening! Last night, everyone was asking me where would I be during the new year’s eve. Would it matter to them where I’d be? Probably. Probably not. I just told them that I’m planning to exit Kuching to do some hiking. “Yes, thought so…”, was their reply.

But I’m still here. Why? Because I realize that my stupid back injury isn’t completely healed. Yes, I can walk and sit almost as natural as a normal person but I can’t do any sudden movement with my back. I can’t even strain it too much without feeling the pain. And I can’t carry 10 bags of cement that tough construction workers often do on TV. So, if I can’t do all these things, then I can’t do my hiking. If I can’t do my hiking then there’s no point going to Bako. Or Kubah. Or anywhere else to escape the Ghost of New Year Hype. *sigh*

Anyways, being a crippled that I am at the moment while entertaining my boredom, I decided to post some pictures that I took while I was in Long Banga, ulu Baram. I don’t usually like talking about my job because nothing pleasing will come out of my mouth especially when it concerns the political nitty-gritty of talking cock . I must admit that I do get into this talk cock business sometimes without me realizing it. I’d feel quite shitty about it later. Thus, the need to get out.

But there is one part of my work that I enjoy most and that is conducting fieldwork research. Now, nothing beats that! Going around listening to people from different cultures, areas and whatnots, trying to get something done with them and doing things that they do, which consequently make an occasional fool of myself. When I said “fool”, I’m not referring to the generic fool. I am referring to literally being a foolish person. An dampened ego after certain realization of reality. Or a perspective of reality.

Yeah, whatever la..

Ok, Long Banga is located in the upper reaches of the Baram river. Know where that is? No? Go Google it. The community that lives in Long Banga is predominantly made up of the Sa’ban. Other communities that surround Long Banga are the Penan and Kelabit, who’s shared more or less similar geo-cultural history in the area. Oh, not to forget the Lepo Ke’ community who actually lives in Long Banga itself. This is also a culturally distinct group from the Sa’ban.

Clinic at Long Banga to serve the needs of people of Long Banga, Long Lamai, Long Peluan, Long Beruang and Ba Lai

So, how do you get to Long Banga? You either take FAX airlines from Miri and it’ll costs you around RM75-RM80. Depends very much on your online booking strategy. MAS used to fly its twin-otters there but not anymore. FAX takes over although it still has the MAS logo on the aircraft. The twin-otter is a 19-seater plane and it’s always almost fully booked!

The other means of transportation is via the logging road from Miri. The ride through the logging road will take between 8-10 hours, depending on the road conditions. If it rains, then it’s slippery. If it’s too dry, then it’s dusty (clouding visibility). If it’s ok, then it’s ok. You can’t drive on the logging road on your own unless (1) you know how to get to your destination because there are no road signs or maps along the way; (2) you know the logging road rules — which is nothing like the traffic rules we have in the urban roads; and (3) you plan to commit suicide by doing a head-on collision with a huge logging truck.

Two weeks ago, I went to Long Banga by road. If you’re not from Long Banga and you don’t know the 4×4 driver who’s driving you there, then the charge would be RM120.00 — yes, it is cheaper to go by plane. But the flight’s only available on Tuesdays and Saturdays. If you miss a flight due to bad weather, then you’d have to literally compete to book your seat for the next flight.

From Miri, a 2.5-hour drive through the terrible gravel road would take you to the ‘lawless’ Lapok bazaar. I’ve stayed in this area for two weeks in 2004 and if you’re not used to the people or ‘etiquettes’ here, then you’d find it very difficult to adapt. But if you’re cool with it, then it’s nothing but fun! Orangeboom, cock fighting, langkau Cap Kenyalang, gambling, car stealing, etc. – all the experiences! Feels like a 19th-century cowboy town in the mid-West USA or something! Anyways, as you pass Lapok and cross the bridge, turn to the right into the logging highway. That’s when the adventure begins.

My transport

This was my transport to Long Banga. I opted the road because I can’t really trust the flight schedules. The next stop, after a 5-hour drive through the logging road, was a place called KM10. I’m not too sure why it’s called “KM10″ — 10km from where?? But they serve good food at the Sky View Cafe (actually, when you’re hungry and tired after a long drive through a bumpy road, any kind of food is good food!). This is akin to the truckers’ meeting point that you get to see those American truckers drive on TV. The only difference is that the ‘truckers’ that stop at KM10 have tons of very long logs on their monstrous trucks! And there you are, driving amidst them that makes your car look like a Matchbox toy car.

This is are common sights along the timber road. The picture above is the log pond i.e. an area where the ‘kompeni’ send their round logs to be transported to the factories in Miri and places like that. The other picture next to it is the bigger version of Mercedes that you get to see along this road. Only that this Mercedes has a different job description than the ones we’re used to in the urban areas. Don’t think you are allowed to drive this Mercedes on our roads.

I arrived in Long Banga that evening, and after a 9-hour journey through this road I was exhausted. Ate some kijang meat and left over babi hutan soup, and I dozed off immediately. I stayed with a family whom I knew from my last trip. The next day, Paulus and I walked to the Penan settlement of Long Lamei. Okay, for the Penan, it’d take them about an hour to walk from Long Banga to Long Lamei. For me, it would take 30 minutes more….with a struggle, that is. And for Paulus, being a Sa’ban who has a larger pair of calf than the Penan, it would take him less than an hour to do that walk! Really, I don’t mind the time it takes to walk in jungle. I’m used to it. But when someone walks faster than you, then you’d have to catch up. If you can’t catch up, then you’d have to device some smart strategy to slow them down. For instance, if you’re tired and the guy in front of you walks like Flash Gordon, then you’d have to call out and say: “Hey, wait a minute (very subtly catch your breath), I want to take a picture of this tiny mushroom!” You say this because you don’t want to admit you’re tired. Otherwise, they won’t want to take you for a walk next time!

The white patch on the left side of the picture is the Penan settlement of Long Lamai

But Paulus is quite familiar with this kind of urban tricksters. So, I came up with another effective method, untried by many urbanites when walking in the jungle with a Flash Gordon-like guides. Before the trip, I bought 10 cans of Orangeboom. As we made the walk to (and fro) Long Lamei, there have been at least 2-3 stops where we can just relax, talk and sip two cans of beers before proceeding. It’s slow, yes but at least, Paulus a.k.a Flash is also slowed down by the mighty Orangeboom.

Paulus and myself having our..er..actually, my rest

Of course, drinking and walking back from Long Lamei was another experience. Since the Orangeboom slowed us down, it became night in no time. In the jungle, darkness comes early due to the tree canopies. But it was alright because I managed to take some photos of birds..and a snake.

Taking photos at night is an experience. Unlike during the day, the birds are quite docile at night. You can literally walk towards them and stand 5 feet away from them, and they won’t budge! I am not sure if they’re playing dead or sleeping but I didn’t push it too far to the extend of attempting in catching them. But staying still was good enough for me to take those photos. I was trailing Paulus from behind when that white bird just flew right past in front of my face. It’s tail was wavy, very much like a toilet roll being thrown into mid-air! I wanted to call it a Toilet Roll White Bird but Paulus said it must be the Asian Paradise Flycatcher. Okay, so it’s not a toilet roll.

Then, as we walked further I came across a snake! And THAT is where my interests is. Birds? Yeah, whatever, you know…Snakes? Now, that’s something! Mind you, even though I can go ga-ga over the sight of snakes, I’d think twice before even catching one. Anyways, Paulus casually picked up the snake and I thought it was some kind of a keelback or rat-snake. The white banded stripes make it curiously look like a juvenile spitting cobra (Naja sumatrana), which is quite common here. But Paulus being Paulus, what does he care? So, I took photos of the snake. When I came back to Kuching, I showed the photo of the snake to Neil, a renown herpetologist, and he told me that it was a hatchling king cobra (ophiophagus hannah)! It was so small and because I’ve never seen a hatchling King before, I thought that it was a keelback. I’ve taken photos of King Cobra in the wild many years ago but have never come across a hatchling. At best, I thought it was a Naja, a common cobra. But nooo, again my problem in identifying small but venomous snakes.

The best thing about doing this walk in the jungle is the experience you get out of it, of learning something new every time. This can be learning new things about trees, mushrooms, animals, insects and whatnots. These do not have to be unique or extraordinarily beautiful to be fascinating. Get a pocketbook on birds, for instance, and start carefully observing the birds around you. Identify one and refer to the book. Once you read its description, your views about that particular bird would be different. I used to be a phobia when it came to snakes. But as I’ve read more about snakes, got myself a pocketbook after I caught a juvenile spitting cobra outside my office, my views toward those slithering creatures have changed. I’m still afraid of them but not as terrified as before. More like an appreciation thing.

Anyways, if you look closely as you walk towards a Penan village, you will tend to notice something sticking on the ground or on the tree. It is usually a long thin stick with simple carving and smaller sticks attached to it. Sometimes, these sticks have dead leaves or animal skins attached at its end, pointing at a particular direction. This is a Penan road sign, a map of some kind or better, an information center!

In this picture below, a stick is pointing towards a path. There are two sticks attached to it and a hand-size dead leave is put on at its point. There is also a small ‘hair-like’ carving below. How to interpret it? Well, the stick points toward a path, which means “We are going this way”. But how many is we? That’s when the two sticks crossed on bigger stick indicates that “There are two of us”. But what are they doing on that path? The answer can be found on the dead leaf attached at its point which says: “We’re going hunting and will stay for couple of nights in the jungle”. The length of nights depend on the size of the leaf. I don’t know what does the ‘hair-like’ carving at the bottom of the stick. It’s probably indicating the distant of their campsite?

One of the good thing about this sign is that it’s strictly a Penan code, especially if you come from that area. No one else would understand it. It may say “I’ve seen hordes of wildboars in this direction yesterday. I am going there hunting now!” For those who can’t ‘read the stick’, then they’d lose out on the food supply. Also, the stick sign can serve as a precaution. If you know that someone’s going hunting in that direction, you’d have to be careful to go in there because you might shoot someone or shot by someone accidentally.

But I did not go hunting with the Penan this time. Instead, I went off further upriver Puak with some of the Sa’ban youths. We caught one mousedeer, one deer (the small one, I don’t know what you call it in English), and a striped civet. I have the pictures but I don’t think it’s appropriate to post photos of dead animals on this site. Some kids who accidentally fall into this site would say:

Kid: Dad! Look at those gross pictures of mousedeer’s head being blown off! Why do they kill the mousedeer, Dad? Did the mousedeer ever do anything wrong to them, huh? Why, Dad?
Dad: That’s because this Langkau Fiction guy is an evil, cruel human being, son. They have no love for living things at all. Let us pray for the mousedeer’s soul, son, and condemn this Langkau Fiction guy to hell!

So, instead of putting the pictures of dead endangered animals on my blog, I’ll just publish the pictures of the ‘felons’ that killed these cute, lovely, harmless creatures. ;-)

WANTED: Animal killers!

So, after that hunting excursion, we decided to head back to Long Banga and share our kill food with the family. Wild meat is the main source of protein among the Sa’ban and Penan communities living in the area. Because it’s so far away from Everise, Choice Daily, Ting & Ting or G.K. supermarkets, the people in these places don’t have access to the chicken meat or beef as their source of protein. The only meat and source of protein they have in their ’supermarket’ are wild boar, deer, mousedeer, civet, black bear, pangolin, porcupine, python etc.

‘There and back again…’

I spent five wonderful days in Long Banga. On the day that I was supposed to leave, I discovered that the driver will not be ‘going down’ to Miri on that day. But I discovered that no one’s going to Long Banga that day. There’s an engagement party in a couple of days and they wanted to be present. Just to take me back to Miri would be a waste of their time. That’s understandable. There’s nothing you can do about this unless you want to pay a ‘charter price’ for driving back, and that would be around RM500. So, it was a Tuesday and I tried to check my luck with the airplane. I was put on a waiting list and when they told me that three people will not be boarding the plane, I paid RM75.00 and got on FAX. However, the trip was only cut short to Marudi. I have to find my own way back to Miri.

View of Long Banga settlement from the airplane

The tiny arrow in the picture indicates the house where I lived while I was there. Taking an airplane on a 19-seater twin-otter is an experience that I think most of us should try. It’s exhilarating and can be frightening at times, especially during the bad weather. hhmm…it feels like being inside an Austin Mini that flies 5,000 ft above sea level!

When I arrived in Marudi, I asked the staff at the airport if there’s a connecting flight to Miri that afternoon. He said, “No”. So, I knew I had two options: (1) to take the express boat to Kuala Baram, Miri — about 2hrs 15mins; OR (2) to find someone who can drive me to Miri on the oil palm plantation road — about 1hr 30mins. I’ve never been on that road before so I asked the staff if he knows someone who can drive me there. He told me: “Oh, it’s been raining heavily the day before that the road is flooded. I doubt it if anyone wants to drive along that road today”. Great, I thought! So, it’ll be the express boat then. I asked the airport staff for direction and he pointed all over the place from his counter. I told him although I’ve stopped over in Marudi many, many times, I’ve never gone into the town itself. He said, “Oh, that’s no problem. You can walk from here, then turn right at the roundabout and…” — he did all these by pointing from behind the counter, which was not much of a help to my imaginary map sketching. When I looked confused, he sighed and decided to draw me a map of Marudi.

Metropolitan city of Marudi (map not according to scale)

True enough, the express boat wharf was not that far from the airport. It was a 10-minute walk from the airport towards the river (of course!) and there were lots of people and express boats (of course!). The Baram river is still the main highway and the express boat is still the main form of transportation among the Marudians who wishes to go to Miri. I’ve not been on an express boat for many, many years and somehow, it’s nice to be able to do it again. I was right on the dot when the next boat to Kuala Baram was about to depart. The fee: RM20.00, no bookings necessary and tickets can be purchased while on the express boat.

View of the Baram River from the express boat to Miri

I arrived Miri at about 2pm that same afternoon after I had left Long Banga. I thought not having the 4×4 to take me to Miri on that terrible logging road was a blessing in disguise. I arrived much quicker. Went on the 11am flight from Long Banga to Marudi, arrived in Marudi at 11.30am. Then, took a 12noon express boat to Kuala Baram and arrived in Kuala Baram at 2.15pm. Not bad indeed.

Today’s Friday and for some unknown reason, the story of Robinson Crusoe came to my mind. When we were kids, the image of Robbie Cruisy was always a brave, adventurous and virtuous white man who got stranded on a lonely island after the storm broke his ship and drowned all his crew except for him. He survived the storm and managed to make a living on that unoccupied island (yeah, right…that’s what Columbus said about the New World; Cpt. Cook said about Australia; or some white conquistadors of some sort said about Easter Island…in fact, if you find the literatures of such European adventurers finding new inhabited lands, the inhabitants would almost be perceived as ‘barbaric, ’savages’ and so forth. But of course, they don’t write that down in the children’s book…).

While on the island, good ‘ol Robbie decided to make a living for himself by establishing his own coffee (??) plantation. I only assumed it was coffee since I think the setting was somewhere in the Caribbean or South America. That he did and he did it all on his own without any help from his business partners, who all died in the ship wreck. He had slaves on his ship as well but of course, again, children’s book do not allow Robbie to be a baddie. How could a good man like Robbie have slaves? The slaves died with his business partners during the shipwreck anyways, so it doesn’t matter if that part of the story got wiped off the children’s book.

Child: Mom, what’s a ’slave’?
Mom: Where did you learn that word?
Child: From the story about good man Mr. Robinson Crusoe. It said he had slaves but all of them perished during the shipwreck.
Mom: No, dear. Good ‘ol Robinson Crusoe did not have slaves. He was a man of God, that’s why he survived the storm that wrecked his ship and his loyal business partners. There were no slaves in the story. The author of that book you’re reading is a bad, bad boy who tells lies to children. I’ll get you another book with the real story about Robinson Crusoe and how he helped his new companion, Man Friday to become civilized like him and helped him to tend his plantation.
Child: Man Friday is a good man, right Mom?
Mom: Yes, child. Friday was a good and loyal companion to Robinson Crusoe.
Child: Mom, what’s a ‘gay’?
Mom: Where did you learn that word?
Child: The book said Friday and good ‘ol Robinson Crusoe were…
Mom: Give me that book now!!

On that lonely unoccupied island, Robbie often encountered ‘barbaric’ tribes who practiced their pagan worshiping rituals on the island (y’see, again, in any inhabited island before the white man’s arrival, the inhabitants would be termed as ’savages’). But with his firearms, Robbie managed to shoo-off these pagans. During one such scuffle with the pagans, it was said in the children’s book that Robbie freed one of their slaves. Since he couldn’t speak to this ex-slave, and being a good Christian that he was, Robbie decided to teach this man English (or some colonial language at the time lah..depends on the book’s translation). Not only that, Robbie preached to him Christianity. This he did. After a while, the ex-slave learned the language and since Robbie found him on a Friday, he named his new companion Man Friday (as if he never had a name before this…)! And Man Friday became Robbie’s loyal companion while staying on the island (he was probably exploited to work on Robbie’s plantation).

I am not sure why I’m telling you this story albeit it’s my distorted version. Besides, this story is already a classic fiction so I’m fictionalizing it further. Anyways, I think Friday – the day, not the person – is meant to be the working week’s end. This means it is a day where the working class find a need to gather at a pub for the purpose of human solidarity outside the working world of factories. Friday is the symbolic need for companionship, such as Robbie needing Man Friday’s companionship. In the book, Friday is initially named Man Friday, thus giving Friday the status of a man, as in a human being. This is also symbolic. During the introduction of capitalism in Europe in the late 18th century, the working class was known as proletariats i.e. a group of people who do not possess any means of production and therefore, forced to sell their labors to make their ends meet. They were not considered humans by the bourgeoisie a.k.a capitalists, who were only interested in accumulating their wealth (sounds familiar, eh?).

So, the place where such a liberation from these non-human working conditions can be found would be outside the work place: the pub. ‘Man Friday’ is not exactly a direct metaphor of a pub but his companionship to Robbie is equivalent to the pub. I read somewhere, the word ‘pub’ is a truncated version of ‘public’. Robbie + Man Friday = Public. The island is, then, the pub. The pub as we know today is actually a nickname for ‘public house’, which means a place where the working class can gather…and drink beers. Lots of them. mm..yummy beers! But why not spend time with their family, you might ask? Well, that’s because the family is an institution created by the state. It’s an institution established as a mechanism or more accurately, an extension of state control. And who controls the state at the time? None other than the bourgeoisie.

Of course, the context is different today but our history shares this same root. Man Friday is an epitome of the working class. If you consider yourself belonging to this working class, then you’re sharing what Man Friday experienced under Robbie. Thus, for me, at least, Fridays would be a day of companionship, of comradeship with our fellow Man Friday. Mind you, it does not necessarily mean a day of being with friends or the family kind of bonding or shit like that. No. It’s a day to go to the pub, meet other fellow proletariats and share the week’s experiences of stupidity, oppression, exploitation and disillusionment. These are the things that many people don’t understand about us pub-goers and beer drinkers (although the ‘real’ pubs in Kuching have virtually become extinct, especially with the close-down of De Tavern on Jln Borneo).

So, it’s off I go to enjoy the happy hour! Happy companion day! ;-)

I managed to see a doctor the day after Christmas day. Even that was difficult. Actually, I was just plain lazy to see a doctor despite the consistent throbbing pain on my lower back. I have this extra-noble attitude of letting any kind of physical pain (in this case, my stupid back) to subside on its own accord over time. That means, for couple of years now, I’ve stopped inserting medicines into my body unless it’s a serious matter of life and death. Okay, half death situation counts too. The only kind of medicine that is permitted into my body is the arak ubat Cap Apek. The rest can just find some other bodies to fuck around with. I don’t even take paracetamol anymore! I have enough chemical in my body etched in my genes to last for the next seven generations. So, if you happen to find some of my descendants being susceptible to liver, kidney and heart diseases, then kindly allow them tell you a story of how their good ‘ol great-great grandpa loved his langkau and beers during this glory days, thus condemned them to inherit my genes! BUT they’d also say this about me:

“One great thing about him is that he never shoved Panadol into his mouth even if he had to die from a hangover! That’s why we’ve gone clean, chemical-free genes. Good ‘ol great-great grandpa…useless piece of shit, he was!”

Okay, so I went to search for a private clinic where I can get my aching back a check-up. I didn’t want to go to the GH because the last time I was there, it took me the bloody whole afternoon before I got to see a doctor. The idea of sitting next to hundreds of waiting patients who probably have more serious problems than mine just did not appeal to me then.

So, I spent slightly more than an hour to search for a private clinic in town because there were all closed. It seemed that they’ve extended their Christmas holidays to the 26th. Finally, I went to Satok and saw a 24-hour clinic by the roadside called Klinik Kotaraya Satok. It was a 10- minute affair with the doctor as there were no patients waiting. I just had to answer simple questions:

Doctor: So, what’s wrong?
Me: Back pain.
Doctor: What happened?
Me: Kayaking.
Doctor: Where did you do kayaking?
Me: Huh? [in my mind, I asked: "What does my backache have to do with the kayaking location?"]
Doctor: Where did you kayak?
Me: er…on the river near some villages in Padawan.
Doctor: Oh [tone of indifference]
Me: Yeah [in my mind, I said: "'Oh' yourself, man! You've just wasted my time trying to engage me in an empty conversation"]

Doctor: So, where’s the pain?
Me: [I pointed at my lower back]
Doctor: Oh. Ok. I’m going to give some medication for….
Me: NO! You haven’t touched or check my back and you already know what to give me? What kind of voodoo bullshit is that? [of course, I didn't say that laaa...] Ok, what does the medicine do?
Doctor: To reduce the pain.
Me: No, no, no. I will only take medicine if you can guarantee me that it’ll heal whatever the problem is with my back.
Doctor: I’m not yet sure what’s the problem with you back but usually….
Me: And you want to give me a painkiller? [I don't subscribe to the ideology of people who use "usually" in their sentence too often...]
Doctor: But I need to be sure….
Me: Can you just write me a refer letter so I can get my stupid back for x-ray first. I can’t sit too long on your sit otherwise my back will hurt even more.
Doctor: Okay but…
Me: Thanks. I will come back to you with the result once I’m done.

I grabbed the letter from the doctor’s hand and went straight to Kuching x-ray specialist. There, I had to wait for almost an hour before I got the x-ray done. RM110.00 later, I left the place and tried to read the x-ray’s diagnosis. Since I know shit about human anatomy and its anomalies, I couldn’t understand fat jargons like “lumbar spine”, “paravertebral mass”, “sacrum”, “coccyx bones” on the x-ray report.

So, the next day, I went to see another doctor in a different private clinic. I brought my x-ray with me and asked the doctor to interpret the meanings of the weird figures depicted on the x-ray.

Me: Doctor, here’s my x-ray. Can you please decipher it for me?
Doctor: [put the x-ray under the light] hhm…hhm…[while pointing at the figure on the x-ray]
Me: So, how is it doctor?
Doctor: hhm…yes…hhm…[pointing at the x-ray]
Me: Is it serious, doctor?
Doctor: hhm…your lumbar spine seems to be…hhmm..hhmm…yes…hhmm..[still pointing at the x-ray]
Me: hhm…doctor? hhmm…Anything wrong with my back?
Doctor: hhm…over here, you can see the coccyx bones that…hhmm…it’s quite straight-forward…hhmm…[still pointing at the x-ray]
Me: What is quite straight-forward, doctor?
Doctor: hhm..and also there’s no sign of…hhmm…no soft tissue calcification…hhmm…[still pointing at the x-ray]
Me: PLEASE CAN YOU JUST LET ME KNOW WHAT THE BLOODY X-RAY HAD JUST REVEALED TO YOU????
Doctor: hhmm…[stop pointing at the x-ray and looked at me] Oh, yes. Of course. Everything seems to be normal. No bony abnormality detected, your lumbar spine is normal and so as your sacrum and coccyx bones. And…
Me: [confused] Is that good or bad?
Doctor: That’s good.
Me: Alright, but why do I feel pain on my back if I move in a certain way? Is it the disc?
Doctor: No, the disc spaces are well preserved. The pain could be due to some impinged nerve.
Me: What does that mean?
Doctor: It means you’d just have to rest your back for a while…
Me: What does ‘rest’ mean? Like no kayaking or footballing for a while? What does ‘a while’ mean?
Doctor: Couple of days or weeks, depending very much on how you use your back…
Me: That means I should just take care of my body, not to assert it like to do hard manual labor job at the construction site carrying 10 bags of cement on my back and…
Doctor: Yes, that.
Me: Thanks. That’s all I needed to know.

Below are three of the x-rays that the doctor found fascinating with the “hhmm’s” and all. I can’t see anything that resembled the coccyx or sacrum bones. After looking for those terms on Google, I think below is the lumbar spine located above the coccyx and sacrum bones. The doctor said it was normal. Nothing wrong with it.

And this one is a view of my pelvic? The dark patch above the pelvic is the abdomen with vague depiction of bowel loops. The x-ray doctor told me that the bowel outlines are very gassy throughout the abdomen. “Why is that?”, he asked me. I just shrugged but in my mind, I thought it must be the beers that I had drunk last night. I don’t know. Aren’t doctors supposed to know what’s inside our body? That’s why I pay them to check it out, no? I mean, a mechanic can’t ask me: “hhmm…er…what is that funny sound coming out of your carburettor? And that screeching sound from that circle thingy…Gosh! What the hell is that?” I’d change workshop if that had happened. So, doctors must know more than its patients.

And this last x-ray seems a bit weird. I asked the doctor: “So, which part of my body is this?” That’s your butt, she said. But why?

I paid RM110.00 just for the doctors to look at these x-rays and go “hhmm…”? 90% of their conclusion said something gibberish about my anatomy and the other 9.8% said: “Everything seems normal in this x-ray”. And the 0.02% said that there must have been an impingement on my nerve that caused my back to hurt. For me, it is that 0.02% that I needed to know. It’s an exhausting experience, y’know, consulting a doctor.

I read in the newspaper this morning that there was an earthquake in Taiwan yesterday. 7.1 on the Richter scale. Must be huge, huh? It was reported two persons died in this quake. But the news did not seem to focus much of its interests on the damages resulting from this earthquake. What was more important is the fact that the cables that are solely responsible in operating the Internet services in the South East Asian region were damaged. This could take several weeks to repair, and thus, the wait.

Now, I can imagine how the Internet junkies will be restless during this period of reparation. It’s like being involutarily put into an alcohol rehabilatation center. I think the impact of this wait will adversely felt by the groups whose businesses are dependent on the internet. Well, maybe the blogging community will also feel the brunt of this. Not maybe. Certainly. I can hear some screaming: “aaargh…now, where can I write about my frustration and anger? Worse, it’s almost the new year and where can I write my new year resolutions to share with others??? aaarrgh…damn the earthquake! Damn Taiwan for not making the cables earthquake-proof! Damn the world! aaaarggh..”

Or “damn my fingers… they’ve already lost the ability to write with pen and papers!”