langkau fiction

Where do I begin? (don’t start singing it…)

The whole of last week, I practically did nothing but jungle hiking. It was great. On Saturday (21.10), I flew off to KL after a typical long delay of 6 hours by the great ‘Now Everyone Can Fly’ Air Asia. Arrived in KL in the evening, had beers with Khoon, Jon, Zoo and others at Jalan Alor, and RM240+ later, we went home. The next morning at around 6.30am, Khoon and I drove over to pick up Janice (first time trekker!), and off we went towards Kahang in Johor. It was supposed to be a 3-4hour drive. Along the highway, we made it to Ayer Keroh in Melaka but couldn’t find any name that resembled Kahang. Curiously, Khoon called the National Park staff who said that we were supposed to use the Ayer Hitam highway, which was in Johor. So, knocked off course for a while and delayed our trip. But of course, I wouldn’t know the difference. This was not my area.

Arrived in Kahang two hours late, got our driver to take us to Endau-Rompin on a 50-minute drive through oil palm plantation. Met up with the National Park staffs (not that efficient, I must say…) and gave us a briefing. They couldn’t get us a guide as they had promised but substituted it with a guide “who’s not always right up there” (pointing at the head). What?! But he turned out to be a good guide, not professional but was good! We had lots of fun throughout but won’t write the details here…

Got back to Kuching on Thursday evening with all sorts of bad news. Won’t write the details here either as it was too depressing but it’s okay now. It spoilt my holiday mood for a while but what the heck.

Last Saturday (28.10), Folker, Christine and I went to Matang wildlife center. Stayed for the night at the hostel and on Sunday morning, we did a long walk along the Kubah-Matang trail. Stupidity led to the loss of my camera, which delayed our hike for 3hours as we searched for my missing camera. Couldn’t find it, of course, and I believed that it was meant to be that way. The laws of the forest are governed by unseen beings. Won’t write the details here. So, we went ‘off trail’ and depended solely on Folker’s GPS. It was great! I enjoyed it. Leeches were everywhere but hey, all living things need to eat including leeches. But it was a great, great week of jungle hiking!

I don’t have any photos to post as I lost my camera and didn’t have time to download the Endau-Rompin photos into my computer. A bummer but the experiences were good enough!

“Yesterday”

One of my all-time favorite songs. In those yesterdays, life is a joy and nothing can possibly go wrong. Love is life pronounced. There is no need for memories as yesterday is a never ending today.

But yesterday is not here to stay. Life goes on. And it moves through the thorns and broken pieces of love. This is life, the dreaded two faces of love but not without honesty. This is what I must learn to accept. To accept that with comfort comes pain; with calmness comes anxiety; with serenity comes chaos; and I must learn to accept that this is okay.

Yesterday is a pause. Today is life lived.

I have not been writing for the past week. It’s not because I’m too occupied with this superficial thing we call ‘job’. It’s not because I’ve been too lazy either. It’s because the internet server at my work place has been terrible and I can only gain access to the internet from my office.

So, what’s been happening? Nothing much. I’ve been thinking a lot lately, which is not that healthy especially in the mental state of being that I am in at the moment. Every time I play around with thoughts, and this is often triggered unconsciously, it creates a sense of insecurity and anxiety inside. I guess I belong to the kind of people who can’t wait for ‘truth’ to unveil itself. I am sure such people exist. But in my heart, I am sure that such ‘truth’ does not exist. Maybe I am too obsessed in creating this ‘truth’? Maybe we all are?

At times, I just want to shut my eyes and just be blind to the past. A place, a memory…a ghost. I am weary. Where did all my laughter go?

The haze slowly dissipates. The rain comes and it plants a smile on my face. But it’s still burning. The haze’s still there. There’s been too much talk. Too many fingers pointing into thin air. But what does it bring? Nothing but deception.

The haze’s been lingering in this part of the world for months now. It does not look like it’s going to go anywhere soon. These days, you can listen to people talking about it. The people on street are complaining about the haze, politicians do what they do best i.e. pointing fingers at each other and other governments, academicians theoreticize the whole matter and bla bla bla. No one seeems to be doing anything about it. For myself, I am sick of listening to people talking about it. I believe there are two ways to get rid of it. First, nature takes its course in favoring the arrogant human race; and second, the powers-that-be can just walk the talk. Otherwise, just sit back and do nothing lest all sort of lies just tangle itself among the simple truth concerning the environment. We’re just too arrogant to believe that we can put the leash on nature.