langkau fiction

Notice how environmentally-friendly Cap Apek is? It is bottled in a recycled Carlsberg bottle. How thoughtful!

You know, I discovered something about Cap Apek last week which made me think.* For those of you who are clueless about Cap [pron. chap] Apek, it’s an illicitly distilled liquor originally brewed in Sibu. Despite its pungent smell and vile taste, Cap Apek is wildly widely popular among many indigenous communities living in the upper reaches of the Rejang and Baram rivers. And you might ask, why would anyone like to drink this portion of disgusting liquor? Because it’s damn cheap! A small bottle of Cap Apek costs RM6.80 (few years ago it was RM5.00) and it’s potent enough to knock-out an average person after drinking half a bottle! Okay, I may be exaggerating but it is does have its kick. Let’s compare it to the other popular but expensive alcohol.

Beers: 4% – 5%
Red wine: 10% – 12%
Smirnoff Vodka: 40%
Sauza Tequila: 40%
Jack Daniels: 43%

And the Cap Apek? If you look closely at the bottom of the label, the content of alcohol says +/- 50%! Now, the interesting thing is not the actual digits but the “+/-” before the digits to indicate the approximate alcohol content. Doesn’t Sharikat Peng Guan (the company that begets Cap Apek) have a proper mechanism to accurately measure the volume of alcohol? Apparently not, I guess. But why bother, right?

Blurry ? What do you expect? Look at the alcohol volume! But that’s ok. The blurry vision is not permanent. What is, right?

* When you are about to discuss a topic related to any cheap local moonshine and it actually makes you think, then one should say no more about your character.

Another Friday arrives and the weekend’s beckoning. Frankly, I’m getting tired of this waiting-for-the-weekend routine and Kuching life in general. I wonder who planted this idea in my mind but Friday nights seem to be a time when the working class (exclusively referring to the high middle income group and NOT the pure proletariats) go out and have fun! You know, like drink the night away? Why is that? Why do I feel that I’ve been programmed to do certain things at certain times? Some of you may be lying to yourself right now saying “I don’t feel I’m programmed to do anything. I’m quite a free person”. Yeah, right, y’know…I’m sitting in my office, waiting for the day to end and all I can think of is to head for the bar after work. And I don’t know why! Personally, I think this is a fucked up world a load of shit and I’m living in it. Probably I’m just tired of this life. I must do something about it.

Alright, so I’m frustrated with myself. So, what? My life doesn’t seem to make much sense these days and I dislike the idea of not knowing what’s going on around me. There is this big hole inside of me that I can’t figure out. Is it loneliness?

Okay, simmer down. Change the topic. Take a deep breath. I should just write about something that is remotely related to my gloomy state of being.

It’s always been my wish to watch the shore line from the sea. Last Saturday, I got my wish! Francis decided to take me on a kayak trip along the coast of Bako National Park, which is even much better. I have been to Bako many, many times, doing what I like most i.e. jungle hiking. Although I’ve always appreciated the sea from the beach, I’ve always been curious of what it’d be like to appreciate the coast from the sea.

At 9.30am, we paddled out of Bako River towards the sea. The further we moved into the river mouth, the more I felt the paddling became strenuous on my body. I thought to myself “Gosh! This is even harder than river kayaking!” Of course, I didn’t want to tell Francis about it because he’s almost in his 50s and casually paddled himself to a sense of contentment! What would he think of a supposedly fit, young man complaining of shoulder ache merely 10 minutes into the trip and have not even yet made it out into sea? I’d have been so embarassed!

But after a while, I seemed to get the drift. Fortunately, the sea was dead calm and the kayak just flowed smoothly through it. Well, it was the half-century old man who did most of the paddling while I had to stop once in a while. The tide was low at the time and we saw some women on the mud beach flaps collecting ambal, and decided to chat with them.

We went on our way to Telok Paku from there, stopped at the beach and talked with some of the Bako NP tourists. Well, he did the talking with the tourists while I did the…whatever. I was more concerned about the aching and getting a sunburn at the end of the day. After that we moved on to see the sea stack outside Telok Pandan Kecil, and proceeded to stop at Telok Pandan Besar. Any tourist may not be able to descend to Telok Pandan Besar because of the steep cliff and absence of trails. But with a kayak, one can! I’ve been on this trail, observing the beach and life below from a viewpoint located on the 100-meter high cliff! But on this day, I was able to be on the beach and observe the wonders of nature from below. It was a beautiful beach.

Telok Pandan Besar

After that, we paddled towards Tanjung Rhu, another spot that I’ve treaded on land and it was great to see it from the sea. Tanjung Rhu does not have a beach but the rock formation that substitutes the beach is stunning. Not far from Tanjung Rhu, there’s a small beach that I’ve never been to either by land or sea. It was the Telok Tajur beach. It’s a small beach but looked good enough for future camping plans. The time it took to leave our landing at Bako River and reaching Telok Tajur beach was about 3 hours. But that was because we stopped in two places.

Telok Tajor

On our way back, we stopped at Telok Assam, where the Bako NP headquarters was located. Had some drinks there and I met up with some friends who are working in the park. It seemed that everything changes, especially one’s perceptions, when taking a kayak. The detour into the mangrove forest was an absolute experience! Or maybe it’s just me being too excited. But it was great.

Mangrover forest near Telok Delima

When we paddled back, it rained as we almost reached the mouth of Bako River. It couldn’t have been worse as heavy raindrops shot into my eyes. And as I wiped them, my sea-salted hands stung my eyes, which made look stupid in front of Francis. But the rain and swell gave me a brief preview on how the sea could be like on a not-so-calm waters. I didn’t want to imagine going through that series of painful paddling…gosh!

But it all went well and it was as if I had regained some sort of enlightening experience going through the shores via kayaking. With my short memory of that painful paddling experience, I blurted to Francis that we should go further to Pulai Lakei and think about setting up a camp there for a couple of nights! He agreed.

One day, that would be another wish come through. Meanwhile, I need to get a massage…

The mind is rational. It manipulates the thought. The mind is irrational. It abuses the thought.

My heart. Once a wound, leaves a scar.

In June 2006, I was doing fieldwork with a Sa’ban community in the upper reaches of the Baram river. Due to its geographical isolation, the communities living in the area generally lack access to sufficient health care services. There is one small clinic located in Long Banga providing the basic medical facilities that cater for the health needs of at least five Sa’ban, Penan and Kelabit longhouse communities along the Balong river basin. Because of this remoteness and inadequate medical attention, doctors, nurses and dentists would regularly go into the area to provide their services. More often than not, these services are on voluntary basis.

It so happened that the doctors were there during my fieldwork in June. They carried out their routine of providing medical services to the people, requiring them to travel from one longhouse community to another. Their stay would be between 5-14 days depending on the various external factors. Whenever I have the ‘free time’ (i.e. no interviews, village transect, etc.), I’d follow the doctors to visit the different villages. This was done purely out of my curiousity and interests in their work.

On one of the ‘out of my curiousity’ visits, the doctors were doing their normal procedures that included blood pressure check. Since I’ve heard that many of the old folks in the communities have high blood pressures, which usually led to other complications such as heart failure, kidney dysfunction, diabetes and strokes, I decided to give mine a check. I was nervous but hey, I’m a young man and relatively healthy (so I thought..), I was confident that it’d be normal. I thought then only the old folks, obese and extremely stressed-out individuals would have the honor of contracting high blood pressure and its dysfunctional characters. When the doctor checked my blood pressure, he was surprised to see that it was high on the first reading. The second and third readings were consistently high. He advised me to see him when I return to Kuching to go for medical check up. Well, that’s the result of my curiousity!

When I returned from my fieldwork, I reluctantly made the appointment to see the doctor. At the time, I was physically and emotionally on the downside. June was a terrible month for me especially with ‘the breakup’ news immediately after my fieldwork. After several tests that spanned for slightly more than a month, the doctor diagnosed me for ‘hypertension’ i.e. high blood pressure. As reluctant as I was the doctor decided to introduce me to a ‘new companion’. I was put on medication – for life – in order to normalize my blood pressure. This was to reduce possible complications in my latter life. Many of my family members and friends were opposed to it but then again, the doctor’s also a friend and he knows my lifestyle (er…whatever it is). “This is my life, we’re dealing with here, people – lay off. I’m going through a difficult patch here!”

In August 2006, I have decided to follow the doc’s order to take Amlodipine Besylate’s a.k.a Norvasc hands in marriage. Since then my blood pressure’s been normal…as long as I continue to be on this medication. For life.